


Disappointment

by derenai



Series: Two Gerlonso drabbles [1]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-02
Updated: 2012-09-02
Packaged: 2017-11-13 09:22:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/501959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/derenai/pseuds/derenai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Xabi pays Steven an unannounced visit in Liverpool but nothing goes according to plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Disappointment

After a long journey through the streets of Liverpool the taxi finally stopped. Xabi paid and hastily got out of the car. He was walking faster than usual, almost running, but he still appreciated his familiar surroundings. Standing in front of this house he hadn't seen for way to long he had trouble to contain his excitement. Once he was at the door, he rang and had to stop himself doing it again a few seconds later as no one answered. Three months that he'd been waiting for this moment, three months since their last real talk as they were both too busy with their club and family. Three months that he'd been dreaming of this unannounced visit. So he had reasons to be impatient. However he forced himself to calm down. He knew Steven may have only little time for him. He also knew that, even if he had planned to stay for the week-end in Liverpool, he wouldn't be able to sleep next to him. And now that he was waiting on the doorstep, he realised there was another possibility, the one that Steven simply wasn't there.

  
Yet he had checked the team's planning, no match this week-end, no training either. He rang once more with no more success. He couldn't believe it. He had forced himself not to imagine things because he didn't want to be disappointed. He had however never thought he could leave without having seen his lover. He rang one last time, longer, more in a fit of pique as in real hope. At last the door opened.

  
Steven froze when he discovered his visitor. He remained silent, his brain clearly having trouble analysing the information that his eyes were sending to it. His surprised face made Xabi smile. The latter couldn't resist longer the urge to hug his lover and pulled him towards himself. The Spaniard(s) hid his face in his boyfriend's neck, breathing his smell deeply, feeling the warmth of his body against him. And after a few seconds the Englishman hugged him back. "I missed you", Xabi murmured.

  
He didn't receive any answer but he didn't care for now. He was too happy to see his lover again. When the Spaniard finally found the strength to pull away, Steven was still motionless and Xabi moved him slightly to go in. Once in the living room, he looked around for Alex or the girls but found no one. He turned to Steven, who was finally getting a grip on himself, at least enough to close the door. He still hadn't said a word and the Basque was slightly worried. He understood his boyfriend was surprised but not so much. This stunned face should have turned to happiness long ago. He was beginning to have the unpleasant sensation that Steven wasn't glad to see him, that he was uncomfortable.

  
When the Brit finally talked, he mumbled so low that Xabi barely heard him. "I… Xa… Xabi, I…"

  
He was carefully avoiding his lover's eyes and the latter was definitely worried. He was going to ask what was wrong but a voice interrupted him. "Stevie? Everything's okay? Why do you leave me alone?"

  
Xabi froze, his heart beating hard against his chest. He was afraid to understand. He didn't want to turn around, as if, as long as he didn’t see Fernando, nothing was real. But he finally turned to the corridor leading to the bedrooms and his fellow countryman was there. Xabi's heart stopped. As he hadn't heard any voices, Fernando hadn't gone the trouble of getting dressed and only wore briefs. This didn't leave any doubt concerning his presence at Steven's place. This and his embarrassed face when he saw his fellow countryman. Xabi's heart was nothing more than a heap of dust.

  
The Basque didn't see Fernando head to the bedroom to get dressed nor cross the living room a few minutes later to leave. A heavy silence settled until Xabi found the strength to turn to Steven, who was still looking at the ground. "Since when?"

  
"Two… Two weeks."

  
The Spaniard took on, the pain threatening to overwhelm him. He had hoped that it had only lasted one night, a mistake after a drunken party but two weeks… That wasn't a mistake anymore."Do you love him?"

  
"No! We… We've talked a lot because… We're both feeling lonely and…"

  
"I don't want details!" Xabi screamed.

  
Steven's shoulders bent. "I'm sorry", he whispered finally looking up.

  
Xabi didn't see the pain in his eyes or didn't want to see it. "It's too late", he answered coldly.

  
"Xabi… Don't say that…"

  
"What do you want me to say? That while you were fucking Fernando, I was only thinking of you? That all the nights you spent screwing him I was dreaming of you?"

  
"I… I didn't want to hurt you, I- "

  
"And how did you want to do it? By hoping I wouldn't discover it until you'd be brave enough to leave me?"

  
"I've never wanted to leave you! I- "

  
"But you didn't want to tell me neither!"

  
"Let me explain it to you."

  
"There's nothing to explain."

  
Xabi couldn't take it anymore. Every second spent in this house, every look at this man who he loved so much, every word from Steven was hurting him a little more. He was wondering how he was still standing, how he could still swallow his tears. To take refuge in anger had protected him for a few minutes but that wouldn't last. He would soon collapse like his world had collapsed. But not in front of Steven.

  
He took the bag he had let fallen hearing Fernando's voice and walked to the door. Steven's hand caught his wrist, forcing him to turn around. This contact burned Xabi's skin. The Englishman was staring at him with wet eyes filled with pain. "I love you."

  
That was just another blade into Xabi's heart. The Spaniard freed himself and got out without a glance at Steven, slamming the door behind him.

  
When he had arrived in England, he had been afraid to be disappointed because his lover might not have enough time for him. Disappointment would have been less painful.


End file.
